How to cope with change as an autistic person
Ah, change. It’s a big deal. Not just for autistic and other neurodivergent people, but for everyone. We are human. Creatures of habit and we like when things are predictable.
The past few weeks have been hectic. Between planning to move out to actually doing it, to trying to settle into a new area when I’m away from my friends and family, my mood has hit a low point.
A lot of change all at once was never going to be a good thing for me. But I’ve always felt I could cope with change, until something changes. After moving into a new place, I thought I’d coped well with everything. However, it turns out I haven’t. So, I thought I’d put a little blog together about autism and change. If you are curious to know more about why change can be hard on autistic people and how to help us cope, keep on reading.
Why change is a big deal for autistic people?
One of the biggest stereotypes surrounding autistic people is that we do not cope with change well. Some autistic people can have big reactions when there is a small change to a routine. To non-autistic people, this change might be something small. But to some autistic people, myself included, some changes can be catastrophic.
As I’ve mentioned before, we are creatures of habit. Human beings love routine. It makes us feel safe and comforted. And, autistic or not, humans has many routines. We go to school, get a job, maybe have a family. We have an exercise routine to keep fit. Some of us eat food deemed ‘breakfast’ food. We do our shopping once a week and write out a list of things to get. We have weekends, we observe seasons changing. And we have traditions that we follow. All of these are routines.
We like the predictability that routines give us and go out of our way to make life feel predictable. It is a very human thing to make routines. And, despite some people believing otherwise, autistic people are human. We do things in a human way. And, like all humans, we love the predictability that routines brings to our lives. Living in this world can make autistic people feel anxious. And routines and predictability can be important in managing anxiety and stress.
Courage Fine Art Print
Some Things That Help Me Cope With Change
Create A Routine That Steadies Me And Stick To It: Since moving out for the first time, all of my routines have changed. Which can throw me and make everything feel unsettled. So, if you are in a period of change, with little you can do to stop it, try to create some ‘routine space’. This is a period of time each day where you engage in some routine. It could be something simple like brushing your teeth at the same time every day or eating the same foods. These routines do not have to be big. They are something that helps ground you, makes you feel calmer and gives you something steady to cling onto. Speaking of eating, that brings me onto my next point.
Eat Food And Hydrate Regularly: This can be a hard one for a lot of people. When I find myself getting low, my appetite is the first thing to drop. But I find that sticking to regular meal times can help. I also like making sure that I keep myself hydrated between meals. Even if I cannot eat much, setting the same time aside each day gives me an anchor. And it means that I am fed and watered. While I like to make sure my meals are varied, I tend to stick to the same types of meals, so I am not overwhelmed with food changes.
Make Sure You Spend Some Time Alone: For autistic people, it is absolutely essential that we spend some time by ourselves. It is our way of saying ‘enough is enough’ and is our time to recharge. Recognise when you need some alone time and accept it. It is perfectly fine to say you need to spend some time alone and sit quietly in a room. You can shut the curtains and sit in the darkness if this helps you. But you should never feel guilty for this or feel you need to be social when mentally, you are unable to. When things change, you might feel the need for alone time increasing. Especially if you feel tired or get overstimulated.
Embrace The Power Of Stimming: Stimming is another essential for autistic people. It helps keep us grounded and can help us when we feel overstimulated. When things change, your stim tools can become important. So, make sure that, whatever yours are, you can access them and safely engage in stimming. And if you are newly diagnosed with autism, you might feel you are unable to stim or not sure how to. That’s okay. It can take a while to relearn how to stim. Some of my favourite ways I stim are finger tapping to music, sitting on my bed and rocking back and forth or flapping my hands. Stimming tools can be a great way to get back to stimming again.
Be Kind To Yourself: Being autistic, our brains are wired differently. So, we don’t see the world in the same way other people do. When things don’t go the ways we expect, it can lead to some problems and we might not react in ways people expect. But this is not our fault and we should not be to blame. So, when something changes, it is important to remember to be kind to yourself. Your brain is wired to react a certain way and this won’t change. Accept any bumps in the road that come along and try to create as many safe routines as possible to help you. They will anchor you and make you feel safe. Think about nice ways to treat yourself. This could be sitting with your favourite book or music. Or even eating your favourite snack or food. For some autistic people, self-care routines like a hair treatment or face mask are an important part of their routine. The point is to try and have something ‘happy’ to look forward to.
Rebirth Fine Art Print
Change Can Be Scary And Overwhelming
Like a lot of other people, autistic people find a lot of comfort in knowing what is happening. It keeps us grounded and we like having a bit of predictability over what is going on. So, when you see an autistic person struggling with change, do not criticise us. Or look at us with pity. We are going through a hard time and struggling to understand what is going on. Instead, give us patience and time. What seems like a small change to you might be a big one to us. And don’t ridicule our routines, even if you find them silly or annoying. They give us a real sense of order in a chaotic world.
